One of the biggest obstacles to success is having your life cluttered up with crazymakers-the people who sap your energy by asking for favors and never reciprocating, making and cancelling dates, making everything about them and not giving you what you need. Read about how I got rid of my crazymaker!
The new year is a great time to clean up the things that are cluttering your life because having too much clutter at work, at home, in your personal life or in your finances is draining. What’s the connection between cleaning out messy closets or mending broken relationships and your ability to be successful? Very simple. In both cases, your energy is being sapped and you are not able to be at your best.
With regard to relationships, do you have any crazymakers in your life? Crazymakers are the people who drive you crazy for whatever reason. They are the people who cancel dates all the time, who forget to return your phone calls, who ask you for favors and never reciprocate, whose dramas outweigh your needs, who expect special treatment—and to whom you find it impossible to say no.
I learned about the concept of crazymakers when I was doing The Artists’ Way program with a group of friends a number of years ago. As we read the chapter on Crazymakers, it hit me: I had a big one in my life! This was the “friend” who insisted that I call her at a specific time and then was not available, who yelled at me if I called a few minutes after her specific time and told me that she was not available, who made lunch dates and constantly rescheduled, who lectured me and told me what to do. I put up with her because when she was “on”, she was great (or so I thought!).
The same week we read that chapter was the week that this “friend” was having a big party. I decided not to go because a family situation came up that I evaluated as more important. I emailed her and told her that I could not come. The day after the party, she sent me a scathing email asking why I had not come and how dare I not honor her. I told her that I had sent an email and she did not believe me. THAT DID IT! Here was my crazymaker and I was finished with her. I wrote her a polite email saying that I had in fact sent the email and it was her choice as to what she wanted to believe. There was no sense in arguing with her and I truly felt a huge wave of relief in setting a boundary and sticking by it.
Since becoming aware of the concept of crazymakers, I no longer allow them into my life. I am pleased to say that every person in my life is there for a reason. That includes family members because I know I cannot change who they are and I honor their role in my life.
So if you have crazymakers in your life, why not take the opportunity to examine why they are there, what you are getting from the relationship and what impact it is having on your life. Then see how you can ease them out of your life and use that energy to move forward!
© Astrid Baumgardner 2011
